Our Friend King

Greetings –

Many of you know we recently had a chance to return to the States to enjoy the wedding of our #4 son Peter. He had met his (now) wife Britney Vaughn since I arrived here in Shanghai, so prior to the wedding I could only get to know her and her family via Skype. (Monique had a chance to meet Britney before she came over in January). Britney is darling and her family are fantastic. The wedding and attendant events went off without a hitch, for which we were very grateful. The only downside of our very short trip was that we had so little time to reconnect with friends or spend any quality time with family. We have decided that future trips will have to be more strategically planned (in other words, we need to stay longer than 5 days). BTW – a special shout out to Fred and Diane Nichols who allowed us to crash at their house for almost a week, although we hardly saw them the entire time.

Although our move to Shanghai is part of a life-long goal of mine (Monique graciously adopted this goal when we got married), it was nonetheless hard-fought. Negotiations for my contract to come here were not easy, and financially speaking, we left a lot on the table to get here. So far, however, our priceless experiences have more than made up for any perceived financial shortfall we might have experienced.  So why do I bring this up? Our trip to the States provided for us an interesting gage of “where we are”. Upon the return trip to Shanghai we found ourselves saying “It’ll be good to get home” – “home” being Shanghai. It was an unexpected realization – that even after this short time, Shanghai is “home”.

And it is home – or at least becoming so. 

Primarily for financial reasons, but also for practical reasons (we were unable to negotiate to have a “container” shipped from the states), we sold or gave away most of our possessions, including home, cars, and major furniture. Lots of things were given to friends or donated to worthy causes. Ultimately, we each arrived here with only two suitcases. Inasmuch as we planned on making this our new home, just as we did in Ramona CA, Dundee OR, and later Layton UT, two suitcases worth of stuff is not much to start new with.  Other than the sparse furniture provided in our rented home, we (I really mean Monique) has had to go out and find, haggle for, buy and eventually transport every new thing we are starting to gather – you know, dishes, bedding, towels, furniture, crockpot, clothing …. basically EVERYTHING.

One of the bigger challenges we’ve faced is the ability for Monique to get where she needs to go safely and reliably. After having seen her struggle heroically in this regard – usually wading out into the world not knowing how to get where she needed to go, and without the ability to communicate with cab drivers – I made it a matter of personal prayer…how could we resolve this situation? (BTW – did I make it clear how AMAZED and GRATEFUL I have been for Monique’s intrepid spirit?)

Within ONE day of addressing this issue, a suitable solution was placed before us. On the way to work, while pelting the cab driver with my customary inquisitions, he responded to me in fluent English. I was shocked! People who can speak English here do NOT drive cabs!  Turns out the cab driver’s mom had gotten divorced and she needed a job. She decided to buy in to a taxi. Here, the cab drivers work in pairs – each taking alternate days of one day on, one day off. She needed a partner, so “informed” her son that he would be her partner. Out of traditional Chinese family duty, our new friend “King” quit his job as a software programmer and became a (much lower paid) cab driver.  Wow.

I explained our situation and asked if King would be willing to occasionally drive Monique from place to place. He said he’d be happy to. Turns out he even lives pretty close to where we do!  King has literally been a God-send.  In those all-too-frequent situations where Monique needs more than just a taxi, King is willing to not only tote her around, but also to help find challenging addresses, provide translation services, clarify cultural things, and offer insights that only a Chinese could offer. Through King’s help, Monique has been able to find better places to shop for life’s essentials, quickly dart around the city without having to pack-mule multiple bags of purchases into multiple stores (for instance, she can leave the vegetables and fruits in the cab as she goes in to purchase bedding or meat or whatever at the next store), AND she has been able to learn about China, Shanghai and the Chinese people through our new friend.  He even recently drove her through a local village where the “real” Chinese live, just so she would capture the full spectrum of life in China. Oh yeah, he also likes to listen to stations with American Music. And all of this for the price of a cab we’d be paying for anyway. Pretty Cool, huh? I have to admit – my humble little prayer was just to find some way for Monique to get around a little easier – funny how sometimes the answers we receive are multiplied without our asking.

We recently learned that in the 4 months since King’s baby was born he has NEVER changed a diaper (women’s work). We’ve also had to provide him with alternate vocabulary for some of the 4-letter words he’s learned from American Movies and likes to show off. (For his part, he gets to practice his English during his taxi outings with Monique.) He knows that we are Christian, but in keeping with our church’s commitment not to proselyte, we refrain from in-depth discussions on this topic. The other day, however, he volunteered that years ago he and his brother were baptized as Catholics – although he does not attend anymore. Weird. We go out of our way to call him anytime we need a ride. Sometimes he is available, sometimes not. Before becoming a cab driver he was making enough to buy his own car – unusual for someone his age. He owns a VERY NICE black Buick LaCrosse. Comparatively, it is almost like a limo here. On King’s days off, if Mo needs to go someplace, he will usually be willing to drive her in his own car – on these days we pay him 50 RMB per hour, which is about what we’d pay for the Taxi meter. Mo likes those days better because the car is roomier, quieter and has better suspension.  Grin.

So there you go – an amazing solution that works really well for us, and helps him and his family at the same time. I think this is a really good example of a win-win situation, and one for which we are REALLY grateful. It’s worked out so well, we’ve even given his number to some of our friends who are in the same situation as us (I’ve probably ruined a good thing for ourselves.)  If/when any of you come to visit – and you should…we have plenty of room and would welcome the company – you will probably get to meet King. It turns out that the ride to and from the airport is pretty expensive no matter what the situation, so we like to make sure our money goes in his pocket, not someone else’s.

Well, once again – a pretty mundane topic, but one that, when inspected, has a pretty amazing foundation.

Cheers to all.

Jay