Lonely in Shanghai

Shanghai is a lovely place to be if there is someone fun to share it with. Otherwise it can be a sort of lonely place. How weird is that? Being in the most populous city of the most populous country on the face of the earth and feeling “lonely”. Due to some urgent family matters, shortly after returning from Peter’s wedding Monique turned around and went back to the US for several weeks. During that time I have to admit I got a bit lonely.

For me, alone times like this cause minutes to stretch into hours. I always remedy this by hitting the streets and going exploring. With Mo gone I decide it is a unique opportunity to go scout some places we might like to visit together later. After asking around about less-traveled places, I learn of a city in the mountains called Anji. Anji is inconvenient enough to get to (no direct train service and limited airline service) and far enough away (3 hour bus trip) that so far it has remained relatively undiscovered – especially by foreigners.  A city of 450,000, Anji is set at the foot of some grandiose, rugged and steep mountains covered with ancient Bamboo forests. I had heard that scenes from “Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon” were filmed there. I had to go!! So I arranged to go during the 3-day weekend of Labor Day (May 1).

After a keystone cops episode of trying to find the right bus station, making sure I got the right bus and eventually finding the right seat, after my 3+ hour “bus tour of the lower Yangtze River Delta”, I finally arrived in Anji at about 5:00 at night. The bus station in this smallish city was downtown, close to the city plaza which was a-buzz with a carnival-like environment of people and peddlers – all in town to celebrate (or make money during) Labor Day. My walk to the hotel, only blocks away, was a precursor of enjoyable things to come. It is Late Spring / Early Summer here and the temperature was perfect. More important for me was the immediate feel of clean fresh air. Although Anji is small, it is a blue-collar town and I had been warned of possible pollution. Not so. Other than the dust that had recently blown in from a Gobi Desert dust storm in far western China, it was (mostly) fragrant and clean.  Smells of grilled meats, and a wide array of fresh fruits as well as weird “why would I EVER buy THAT” types of things made for an interesting stroll through the plaza. Based on how I was received, apparently few foreigners come to Anji, and fewer still that are old foreign guys with full-sized backpacks traveling by themselves. I was met with not a few stares followed by wide toothy grins from everyone ranging from babies (without the toothy grins) to weathered old men and women.

Given that there were no English speaking TV channels and my Chinese is not yet sufficient to keep up with Chinese TV shows, I spent a lot of time surveying the city from my 9th floor room at the top of the tallest building in town. As the sun set and the city lights came on I could easily see into the lives of the families who live in the 2-3 blocks immediately behind the hotel. I felt a little like Jimmy Stewart in the movie Rear Window. If only I’d had some binoculars! At least now I know how to do my laundry the same way Chinese families do (pretty much EVERYONE was doing their laundry on their back balcony).

What an odd experience I had at 5:30 the next morning hearing the music of Jingle Bells wafting through my open window? “What was THAT?” my foggy brain was trying to decipher. It was one of those “where am I?” kind of moments.

                I sprang from my bed and threw open the sash,

                to find it was workers, collecting the trash. 

Seriously – the way the trash guys let you know they are on your street (and thus you should get up and bring your trash down) is by playing – wait for it – Jingle Bells. What an appropriate song, don’t you think? The whole experience was Monty-Python-esque. “Bring out your dead”.

The complimentary breakfast is served at 6:30 am. Wanting to get an early start, and already having been wakened by Christmas songs, at that early hour I thought I’d be the only one there. Far from it, the place was a beehive. Turns out Chinese breakfast is pretty much the same as Chinese dinner. Hmmmm, I wonder if it WAS Chinese dinner from last night? (sarcastic grin - I have to remember they don’t get many foreigners here.)  Most of the selections didn’t fit my palette, but I was grateful to see a guy cooking eggs to order, and there were some wonderful fresh fruits, as well as some other bread-like items that were different, but not bad. I also looked forward to some of the Orange Juice I saw on the beverage table. Oddly, it was too hot to drink. I finally figured out that it was powdered fruit juice, and they no doubt had to boil the water from which they made the juice – thus it was hot. OK, I can handle that. At least they boiled the water!

I was up and out by 7:30 am. From there I took an hour long taxi ride into the mountains to a place whose name translates to “Big Ocean of Bamboo”. Just from the name you can almost imagine the scenes. After getting instructions from the cab driver about how I should get back to town, then passing the ever-present peddlers – ALL of whom sell the exact same thing as the guy next to them – I made my way to the entry gate. The young men manning the gate dared each other to try to speak English to me. The girls just giggled. Asking if I was the first foreigner of the day, they all confirmed my suspicion. Unfortunately they did not buy my story that the first foreigner of the day was supposed to get in free. We laughed, I paid. Doesn’t hurt to try.

I noted that everyone was following each other along the same route towards a well-worn pathway. I spied “a road less traveled” to my left and took it. As I made my way into the forest I heard a weird high pitched whine above me and looked up to spot a guy on a zip line some 200-250 feet over my head (that’s like a 15-20 story building). He was making the ¼ mile crossing from one side of the steep canyon to the other at lightning fast speeds. Guess where I headed?  The higher I climbed up the side of the mountain, the less certain I was that I wanted to do this. This was seriously high!

When I arrived at the take-off point and saw the rickety equipment I was even less sure. The “safety platform” that jutted out from the mountain just as you take off, was made of bamboo and didn’t seem too solid in the first place. Worse, it was falling apart – certainly NOT designed to instill confidence. But I figured that there were lots of people who were successfully making the crossing and I would probably regret NOT doing this, so I proceeded to suit up. Of course I would be safe! After all, I figured, how many times do you ever hear of catastrophes in China due to lack of inspection and improper maintenance of equipment?  . . . . . . . OK, scratch that last part.

So enduring wise cracks about foreigners from the jovial veteran zip line operator, I slip on my harness. He animatedly yells at the younger harness-putter-oner, pointing out that the selected harness had a defect, carefully pointing it out for me (and the gawking crowd of over 50 people) to see. “Better use that one” he says, pointing to another one.  Gulp. Now terrified, but with lots of onlookers, I only have one choice. I must continue. I slip on the new, “safer” harness and get attached to one of the two zip lines. They instruct me to sit down, placing all my weight in the harness as a test. “No, no, no” says my friendly old zip line guy. I stand up and they disconnect me from the first line and connect me to the second line, which I now realize is thicker. “This is good” I think. Then from somewhere in the crowd I hear someone say in heavily accented Chinglish “too heavy”.  I look at Mr. Zip Line to realize this WHOLE thing has been a show. He grins and winks, and instructs the younger guy to send me off. Whoosh!

Yikes. In seconds I am screaming (speed-wise, not literally) across the canyon. I look down to realize exactly how high I am. The people look like ants and the few vehicles in the parking lot down the canyon look like Hot Wheels. I don’t look down for too long. Faster than expected I’m half way across. All of a sudden the line starts to wobble and a shot of major fear runs through me. Trying to understand what the problem might be, 50 yards ahead I see the stopper-guy is tugging on the cable. At first I thought he was trying to scare me, but then I realize he was just trying to get my attention (he did). He is yelling for me to put my head back. I do as he says and discover that somehow aerodynamically by putting your head back it lines you up for landing. My legs automatically rotate forward and all of a sudden I’m face-first into the dusty mattress that acts as the backstop in case Mr. Catcher-man can’t catch you like most Catcher-men can. Given that Mr. Catcher-man couldn’t catch me, harkening back to the comment on the other side of the canyon, I guess I was indeed “too heavy”.

I’ve been warned that sometimes less is more, and sometimes I give more when I should give less. Ergo, I will simply say that the rest of that day was an amazing set of experiences ranging from solitary hikes in the bamboo forest to careening taxi rides in a weird three wheeled “car” on a road carved out of the canyon walls, to visiting one of China’s Panda sanctuaries, to wandering around Anji in the evening making friends at the carnival.

But wait, there’s more.

Day 3 starts just like Day 2. I guess they collect trash every morning. After breakfast, I call my same taxi-driver friend from yesterday who takes me up to “100 Waterfalls Grotto”. I have learned of this place from a person I met on the city plaza last night. She’s an English teacher and wanted to speak “real” English with a “real” English speaker. At the end of the day I am profoundly grateful that she directed me to this spot.

After the 1+ hour trip into the mountains, I am dropped off with my backpack (I didn’t carry it the day before) in this small town that is crammed impossibly into a wide spot of this otherwise unbuildable canyon. The driver points to a path between two buildings telling me that this is the take-off point up the mountain. We agree that he will come back by 3:00 pm so I can get back down the mountain to make my 5:00 bus trip back to Shanghai. We synchronize watches and separate.

From there I begin a 2 hour hike up the steepest canyon I've ever hiked. For those who live in the Layton/Kaysville area north of Salt Lake City, Utah, this canyon can be compared to Andy Adams Canyon on a double dose of steroids. It is called “100 Waterfalls Grotto” for a reason. (Duh) There are easily 100 waterfalls within the canyon on the climb to the top. Some of the waterfalls are magnificent, some of them are quiet. Many are hidden and out of view. The trail is formed primarily of ladders, raised catwalks and bridge-like contraptions, constructed of Rebar built into the sides of, and above the steep canyon. Early on I had seen signs encouraging women not to climb the canyon in high heels – of course I thought the sign was silly and unnecessary – until I noticed that pretty much everybody climbing the canyon appeared to be dressed as though they were attending a wedding. Men in suits, women in dresses wearing high heels, and many carrying designer bags and even their small pets. Silly me, there I was with my hiking boots and backpack – how unnecessary!  (We’ve discovered that on holidays people dress up and go out – even if they are going to climb a mountain! This is just one more of the odd nuances of China.)

Unfortunately, the concept of “Take only pictures, leave only footprints” has not taken hold here yet. With every step I am aghast at the amount of plastic bottles, cigarettes and food trash that has been thoughtlessly tossed into this beautiful river. Maybe you remember in the 60’s and 70’s (OK, I’m dating myself) the many commercials and ads encouraging Americans to place trash in its proper place and to “Keep America Beautiful”. For the most part that campaign appears to have worked in the US – except maybe in the south. I well recall moving to Lake Charles, Louisiana and, upon arriving in my new neighborhood, finding all manner of trash indiscriminately thrown into the roadside ditches. That trash included everything INCLUDING the kitchen sink - literally. I remember being appalled then and I was similarly appalled in 100 Waterfalls Grotto. Despite the frustration over the trash – the grandeur of this place is overwhelming.

Once at the top everyone treated it as "the end of the road". I did not anticipate that there would be a small village at the top of the mountain, however, it seems that in this populous country people will find a place to live anywhere they can. Determined to really get away from it all, I found another trail leading towards a small peak at the top of these high mountains, so I took off on foot again. After crossing a series of raised terraced rice paddies, the trail crept into a bamboo forest. I followed along, remembering to keep my bearings. No one knew where I was and I had no cell reception up here. If I got lost or hurt, I was on my own.

The trail quietly retreated from civilization. With every step the scene before me became more ethereal while the sounds of commotion faded away. Before long, I found myself alone, deep in a beautiful forest of tall and stately bamboo. The wind wafted through the bamboo leaves creating a beautiful continuous rustling sound. I couldn't hear a single man-made sound – a first for me since arriving in China. Sunlight dissipated through the various-colored green leaves high in the canopy of the bamboo forest, creating an amazing light-green hue . . . almost like wearing bamboo-green colored sunglasses.

I frequently hear foreigners talk about seeing "the real China". I always wonder what they envision with that statement. I can certify that “the real China” is overpopulated, unsanitary, loud, stinky and polluted (did I hold back too much?), but what I was able to experience on that mountain that day was probably what the "old" China was all about. I could almost see some Confucian scholar meditating in the bamboo forest, painting a scroll or writing Chinese poetry.  OK, maybe that's a little overboard, but you catch my drift.

On the way back down, not far off the trail, I spotted a stand-alone open-walled hut built on a raised platform in the side of the hill. As I descended I heard someone call out to me in Chinese. When I responded, across the open rice paddies I could hear them say “It’s a FOREIGNER!” They excitedly invited me up for a cup of bamboo tea. I unloaded my heavy pack and we chatted a while, sharing stories and taking pictures. I suspect it was as unusual for them as it was for me. Maybe they are writing on their blog about the unusual old foreign guy that came out of the woods one day. It was pretty cool.

As I start my descent back to meet the cab driver I am part of a virtual parade of people returning from their individual adventures. At one point a fellow traveler tells me the Chinese have an ancient saying about climbing down the mountain: “Climbing up is easy, returning home is painful” (it sounds much more poetic in Chinese). At first I don’t fully understand what he means, but in no time my quivering calves explain the statement. I discover the muscles you use to slow down your descent are seldom used and thus quickly susceptible to fatigue. I am shocked and impressed to see old (I mean REALLY OLD) women casually sauntering down the mountain. For me, I’m struggling. With every step my legs grow more painful and shaky. I am just short of that feeling where you know your legs are going to cramp up any second. In my mind I can just see the moment when my knees finally buckle and everyone gets to watch the silly guy with the backpack and hiking shoes bounce and roll down the steep path. That vision is enough to cause me to pause frequently, pretending to chat with curious folk, when in actuality I just need a rest.

During the lengthy return trip I am befriended by three curious young Chinese – 2 girls and a guy. The girls don’t speak English but he does – sort of. He tells the girls to walk ahead. I find out why – he wants to tell me that he likes the cute girl on the left. This is their first “date” and he is excited about getting to know her. They work at the same factory and he has had his eye on her for a while. He finally got his friend, the “other” girl, to introduce them – so today is their first time getting to know each other. Sort of a chaperoned blind date. It seems like this is standard procedure in the courting game here. I ask him why he is wasting time with me? He says he is embarrassed and nervous to talk to her. I explain that women like two things: a confident guy and to be the center of a guy’s attention, and that by talking to me he is ruining his chances with her – get your butt down the trail and talk to HER. For another 15 minutes he doesn’t catch my drift, so finally I have to get rude and simply blurt out that I am tired of talking to him and he should get out of my face (again, it sounded better in Chinese.) I felt bad, but reason that I may have just helped this guy more than he will ever know. Someday he may figure it out and forgive my rudeness. Maybe they’ll name their first (only) kid after me? Doubt it.

Fortunately, my cab-driver friend is on time and we make it safely down the narrow rutty road and back to the bus station with time to spare. Other than the long drive made longer by the “returning from holiday traffic” the trip back home is uneventful.

A couple of more additional lonely days go by while Monique is still in the states, then finally the happy day arrives for her to come home. On a (for others) non-descript Thursday night Monique finally touches down. For me it was an amazing exciting day, but for the rest of the world it was just another Thursday.

Interesting how small things can change the world. In this case simply replacing the letter “N” with the letter “V” changes a lonely life to a lovely life. No longer lonely in Shanghai.

For those who would like to follow along with photos, click HERE

Jay

Insights From An Offsite

Today is Saturday, April 16. I’ve just returned from a 2-day company offsite meeting with about 50 of the Senior Leaders of the company I work with.  Oh my gosh – I wish there were words to adequately convey what a cool, odd, enlightening, and challenging event this was for me.

Where to start….

One of the things that jumped out at me most is the juxtaposition (cool word, eh?) of equality and competition. Ever since Monique and I arrived here we’ve noticed that the Chinese are ALWAYS doing the next “thing” bigger or better than anyone else. Longest bridge, biggest population, largest port, fastest train, deepest mine, widest ship, strongest economy, blah blah blah.  (Now that I’ve pointed this out, you may start to notice it)  Seriously – we laugh about this every time we hear another “we’re better than you” example – so much so that we make silly exaggerated examples to ourselves – it’s sort of a fun sport. We try not to be inappropriate or rude, just sarcastic (grin) 

Anyway – what I witnessed at this offsite is that despite the cultural need to be bigger and better than the next guy, there is also an amazing sense of egalitarianism built into the culture. I saw situations where a lowly Management Trainee was allowed (encouraged) to challenge some ideas put forth from no less than the COO. And it was OK! During a team building exercise one of the most senior leaders was sort of a klutz, and he was widely dissed for his klutziness, and he laughed right along with the rest of the crowd – he was just one of the team. Yet throw into this weird mix, the concept of competition in EVERYTHING. For example, we had several team-building exercises and in the end, everything boiled down to which team’s team-building efforts were best – they were actually scored! We filled out anonymous surveys about how various departments did their jobs, and at the end of the offsite meeting, the winners and losers of the surveys were announced. We had brainstorming sessions which resulted in PowerPoint presentations to share our ideas. Those presentations ended up being ranked, with “winners” and … well not “losers”, but “anti-winners”. Oddly, no one seemed to feel bad about their “anti-winning”.

So somehow it boils down to this: everyone is truly deemed to be equal, but nonetheless everything and everyone is measured and scored with the results being made more public than any westerner would ever feel comfortable with. But the scores are not overly relied-upon, because magically somehow everyone is equal in the end anyway and no one seems to feel bad if they aren’t the “best”. It is SOOO hard to understand.

Another realization is that while the Chinese do some things REALLY REALLY well (think opening exercises of the 2008 Olympics), they do other things not-so-well, and don’t seem to notice the difference.  For example, the venue where this event was held was pretty amazing. Very cool architecture, with a flair for modern Asian influences. On the surface it “appeared” to be a top-of-the-line 5 star quality location. Yet on the drive in, as we passed over the majestic moat around the facility, I spied disgusting floaty-things in the water – LOTS of them!!!  Mere meters away from sheer swankiness. It was literally as though “over here” is 5-star quality but “over there” is simply “over there”.  I guess when you have limited resources, you have to draw the line somewhere. Regardless, they might be better served to re-deploy some of the 20 or 30 women using bamboo branches to sweep the occasional stray leaf out of the parking lot, and have them go scoop gross things out of the canal. You know, first impressions and all that. Hard to understand.

Another thing I noticed is that although the Chinese are clearly trying to improve how they do things, and are pretty proud of their accomplishments (for which they absolutely SHOULD be proud), there seems to be in innate deference to all things Western. I (being the only foreigner at the event) was REPEATEDLY asked how we do things in the west. No matter what I said, it got written down as “best practice”.  Now, maybe they were just being polite and writing it down to make me feel good, but I don’t think that was the case. Although I have to say that many of the things the Chinese do could be easily incorporated as best practices in Western businesses, yet there appears to be a collective unwritten, unspoken belief on their part that their processes, etc., are just not quite good enough.

You know, I hear lots of people in the US worrying about how the Chinese are going to “take over the world”.  Trust me, I’ve come to observe that the average Chinese on the street (or in my office) has NO designs on “taking over the world”. They pretty much just want a larger apartment, maybe be able to afford a car or nicer Mo-Ped, or in the best of all worlds, at least be able to afford an iPhone – but not to actually “take over the world”.  The Chinese government, on the other hand, wants to improve things for their citizens at all costs (keep the natives from getting restless), which results in the aggressive acquisition of resources around the world. What we see translates into “the Chinese trying to take over the world” – In reality I think they are just trying to get what they want/need. Seems pretty similar to what EVERY country does.

Despite all of this, while the “standard” of living is improving for many Chinese (they are buying more things), one thing that isn’t improving much is the “quality” of living.  For example, sanitation remains a SERIOUS challenge here. Workmanship remains very low – something built new this year that looks amazing seems to be falling apart next year. Being able to trust what you get for your purchase is always in question. While these seem to be small and subtle things – to me they speak volumes about the future. A population can only start to become “world-class” if they ACT “world-class”. These are not things that change in one generation – these types of things are institutional. And in a population as large as China’s, I’m not sure you EVER change these things. For example, in the states we don’t really think twice about drinking water from our tap. Here, you DO have to think twice about drinking ANYTHING – even if it is bottled water (make sure the little plastic tab hasn’t been broken – it’s not unheard of for some unscrupulous store owner to just “refill” the bottled water – urg). How do you change THAT kind of behavior?

On a more personal basis – I had a hard time keeping up with all the discussions. I’ve learned that our amazing brains can decipher multiple conversations in a single room and somehow keep them separated – at least if they take place in our mother tongue. But put 4 teams of people discussing different topics in a large space using a second language, and then have sub-discussions taking place within each group, and I find my feeble little brain just resorts to taking it all in as equally important and undifferentiated data – thus useless. A cacophony (‘nother cool word) of Chinese words all with equal importance, thus NO importance. BTW – add to this the fact that people were using business jargon I’d never heard, combined with varying accents, etc. – well, I’ll just say it made for some LOOONG meetings!

Fortunately, since I did NOT already know most of these Senior Leaders, and most of them assumed I could not understand or speak Chinese, when I chatted with them in a one on one situation, I WOW’d them. That always feels nice.

Finally one last weird insight. Remember that I live in COMMUNIST China. Most of the people I work with are sworn members of the Communist Party. It is sort of a given that if you want to exceed in your career, you’d better be a member of the Party. Some are more energetic in their Party affiliation than others, if you catch my drift. To that end, there is a special guy in the company, technically the Number 3 guy behind the CEO and the Deputy CEO, who is the Liaison to the Chinese Communist Party. In this case, Mr. Fong. He did not appear to be overly skilled in business topics. Pretty sure he landed his role by being a good party member – whatever that entails. Given his role, and the nominal importance of showing loyalty to the party, Mr. Fong had a few things to say in our closing meeting. Snore. Wish you could have seen the “rapt attention” that was being paid to his comments. Snore. I could see people physically trying to widen their eyes to avoid falling asleep. Bobbing heads were everywhere. “Ooops – staaaay awaaake!”  I smiled outwardly as I thought of the voice of the parent or teacher on the Charlie Brown specials.  “Whaaa wa wa WAAA whaa.”

Well, there you have it. Another special opportunity to see a side of China that most don’t get. All in all, it was an eye-opening experience (except for the case of Mr. Fong’s comments) and one which causes me to be hopeful for the future and grateful for my new friendships with a lot of very amazing individuals.

Cheers to all.

Jay

Our Friend King

Greetings –

Many of you know we recently had a chance to return to the States to enjoy the wedding of our #4 son Peter. He had met his (now) wife Britney Vaughn since I arrived here in Shanghai, so prior to the wedding I could only get to know her and her family via Skype. (Monique had a chance to meet Britney before she came over in January). Britney is darling and her family are fantastic. The wedding and attendant events went off without a hitch, for which we were very grateful. The only downside of our very short trip was that we had so little time to reconnect with friends or spend any quality time with family. We have decided that future trips will have to be more strategically planned (in other words, we need to stay longer than 5 days). BTW – a special shout out to Fred and Diane Nichols who allowed us to crash at their house for almost a week, although we hardly saw them the entire time.

Although our move to Shanghai is part of a life-long goal of mine (Monique graciously adopted this goal when we got married), it was nonetheless hard-fought. Negotiations for my contract to come here were not easy, and financially speaking, we left a lot on the table to get here. So far, however, our priceless experiences have more than made up for any perceived financial shortfall we might have experienced.  So why do I bring this up? Our trip to the States provided for us an interesting gage of “where we are”. Upon the return trip to Shanghai we found ourselves saying “It’ll be good to get home” – “home” being Shanghai. It was an unexpected realization – that even after this short time, Shanghai is “home”.

And it is home – or at least becoming so. 

Primarily for financial reasons, but also for practical reasons (we were unable to negotiate to have a “container” shipped from the states), we sold or gave away most of our possessions, including home, cars, and major furniture. Lots of things were given to friends or donated to worthy causes. Ultimately, we each arrived here with only two suitcases. Inasmuch as we planned on making this our new home, just as we did in Ramona CA, Dundee OR, and later Layton UT, two suitcases worth of stuff is not much to start new with.  Other than the sparse furniture provided in our rented home, we (I really mean Monique) has had to go out and find, haggle for, buy and eventually transport every new thing we are starting to gather – you know, dishes, bedding, towels, furniture, crockpot, clothing …. basically EVERYTHING.

One of the bigger challenges we’ve faced is the ability for Monique to get where she needs to go safely and reliably. After having seen her struggle heroically in this regard – usually wading out into the world not knowing how to get where she needed to go, and without the ability to communicate with cab drivers – I made it a matter of personal prayer…how could we resolve this situation? (BTW – did I make it clear how AMAZED and GRATEFUL I have been for Monique’s intrepid spirit?)

Within ONE day of addressing this issue, a suitable solution was placed before us. On the way to work, while pelting the cab driver with my customary inquisitions, he responded to me in fluent English. I was shocked! People who can speak English here do NOT drive cabs!  Turns out the cab driver’s mom had gotten divorced and she needed a job. She decided to buy in to a taxi. Here, the cab drivers work in pairs – each taking alternate days of one day on, one day off. She needed a partner, so “informed” her son that he would be her partner. Out of traditional Chinese family duty, our new friend “King” quit his job as a software programmer and became a (much lower paid) cab driver.  Wow.

I explained our situation and asked if King would be willing to occasionally drive Monique from place to place. He said he’d be happy to. Turns out he even lives pretty close to where we do!  King has literally been a God-send.  In those all-too-frequent situations where Monique needs more than just a taxi, King is willing to not only tote her around, but also to help find challenging addresses, provide translation services, clarify cultural things, and offer insights that only a Chinese could offer. Through King’s help, Monique has been able to find better places to shop for life’s essentials, quickly dart around the city without having to pack-mule multiple bags of purchases into multiple stores (for instance, she can leave the vegetables and fruits in the cab as she goes in to purchase bedding or meat or whatever at the next store), AND she has been able to learn about China, Shanghai and the Chinese people through our new friend.  He even recently drove her through a local village where the “real” Chinese live, just so she would capture the full spectrum of life in China. Oh yeah, he also likes to listen to stations with American Music. And all of this for the price of a cab we’d be paying for anyway. Pretty Cool, huh? I have to admit – my humble little prayer was just to find some way for Monique to get around a little easier – funny how sometimes the answers we receive are multiplied without our asking.

We recently learned that in the 4 months since King’s baby was born he has NEVER changed a diaper (women’s work). We’ve also had to provide him with alternate vocabulary for some of the 4-letter words he’s learned from American Movies and likes to show off. (For his part, he gets to practice his English during his taxi outings with Monique.) He knows that we are Christian, but in keeping with our church’s commitment not to proselyte, we refrain from in-depth discussions on this topic. The other day, however, he volunteered that years ago he and his brother were baptized as Catholics – although he does not attend anymore. Weird. We go out of our way to call him anytime we need a ride. Sometimes he is available, sometimes not. Before becoming a cab driver he was making enough to buy his own car – unusual for someone his age. He owns a VERY NICE black Buick LaCrosse. Comparatively, it is almost like a limo here. On King’s days off, if Mo needs to go someplace, he will usually be willing to drive her in his own car – on these days we pay him 50 RMB per hour, which is about what we’d pay for the Taxi meter. Mo likes those days better because the car is roomier, quieter and has better suspension.  Grin.

So there you go – an amazing solution that works really well for us, and helps him and his family at the same time. I think this is a really good example of a win-win situation, and one for which we are REALLY grateful. It’s worked out so well, we’ve even given his number to some of our friends who are in the same situation as us (I’ve probably ruined a good thing for ourselves.)  If/when any of you come to visit – and you should…we have plenty of room and would welcome the company – you will probably get to meet King. It turns out that the ride to and from the airport is pretty expensive no matter what the situation, so we like to make sure our money goes in his pocket, not someone else’s.

Well, once again – a pretty mundane topic, but one that, when inspected, has a pretty amazing foundation.

Cheers to all.

Jay

Chinese Brigham - Part 2

Wow – Where to start?

As you may know several weeks ago we bumped into an amazing 23 year old young man with Down Syndrome named Li Jing. Fortunately he and I exchanged cell phone numbers. From that short exchange Li Jing’s father was able to contact me and invite Monique and I to dinner. It is Sunday evening and we’ve just returned from their home where we spent the last 5 hours or so. I don’t really think that words can express the surreal, uplifting and eye-opening experience we’ve just had – but I will try.

We’ve been waiting for this visit for over a week. We’ve never really been invited as a formal guest into the home of a Chinese family and did not know what to expect. Yesterday we made a special trip to the fruit stand and with the laborious help of the fruit-stand guys we hand-picked some of the best and most expensive fruits we could find and had them specially wrapped as a guest gift. We’re pretty much novices at this, but we felt that a wide assortment of special fruits would be a safe bet. Fearing that we may be stuck in some awkward moments of inability to communicate, Monique also brought her Ukulele – music has an amazing way to cut tension and is sort of a universal language.

First, let me say that since I met Li Jing (and knowing the cultural lack of acceptance of “retarded” people on the part of the Chinese), I have felt that Li Jing’s parents – whoever they are – must be heroes. After meeting them, I find they are much more than that.

When we arrived we met an unusually attractive family. Li Jing’s dad is Li Yong, a very handsome man in his mid-to-late 40’s. His mother is similarly pretty and appears to be in her late 30’s but is probably older. Although neither of them speak English, Li Jing’s younger 20 year old sister can speak English very well and when I was unable to understand she would translate for all of us. We were ushered into the living room – somewhat sparsely furnished by western standards, but beautifully decorated with traditional Chinese wooden furniture and artwork. The coffee table was completely full of fruits and chocolates and Chinese snacks of all sorts – including a special “candy” made specifically by Li Jing’s grandmother for this occasion. This yummy black candy could be most similarly associated with something like peanut brittle, although made of sesame seeds and not as much “brittle”. It was clear that the entire family was proud of grandma’s sesame brittle – and appropriately so.

After initial introductions to the above mentioned family members, as well as being re-introduced to Li Jing’s Auntie – she was the one we first met at Wal-Mart with Li Jing – the conversation naturally gravitated to Li Jing who was basking in the moment. As we would learn, pretty much from the time he met us until this afternoon, Li Jing has been talking about us. All day today he has been waiting for us to arrive. Why the immediate connection with us? At first I did not know, but we soon came to understand.

Li Jing’s family is not originally from Shanghai. Li Jing was born in a less developed province called Zhejiang. When Li Jing was born many people ridiculed his family and they knew that raising Li Jing there would be difficult. Fearing some of the inevitable further ridicule Li Jing would experience, instead of putting him in public school, Li Jing’s mom hired a special teacher to come into their home and for 7 years he was home schooled in all the standard topics. He quickly excelled in speaking, reading and writing Chinese. He was also taught singing, math, science and other “normal” topics as well as appropriate manners, how to address elders, etc. After the addition of their daughter and 10 years, Dad (Li Yong) determined that in the best long-term interests of Li Jing, the family would relocate to Shanghai. Since here, Li Yong has become CEO of one of China’s up-and-coming Wind-Turbine companies, as well as starting two import-export companies, the revenues of which are intended to take care of Li Jing when he gets older.

As we spent a little more time with Li Jing we are amazed at the EXACT similarities to Brigham’s behavior and movements. For example he wants to show off a little so he goes to the piano and plays two songs – both self-taught. The first one is Happy Birthday To You, which he sings in English. The other is an older Chinese song which comes from his Mom’s era, which he sings in Chinese. He doesn’t just plunk out the notes, he plays full chords, etc. with both hands. After singing them once he wants to go again and the family has to interrupt him and tell him that once is enough.  “Just once more?” he says.  Can’t you just hear Brig saying that?

Li Jing’s body movements and facial gestures and even the way he sits and the way he talks (even though in Chinese) are eerily similar – no “the same” – as Brigham. More than once Monique and I catch glances with each other as to say “can you believe this?”  Li Jing is then invited to show us his Chinese Kung Fu moves. His movements are precise and well-rehearsed. We learn that every day at 6:30 pm he practices these moves in front of the mirror in his bedroom. No one else requires this of him, it is just what he wants to do. Many of you may not know that for a long time Brigham would dress up in a suit daily and practice the National Anthem for hours at a time in front of the mirror in his bathroom.

Monique pulls out the Ukulele and sings a couple of songs to Li Jing, including Happy Birthday To You – which Li Jing chimes in on in English. Later Monique lets him try to play. It is clear that he has a natural love of, and instinct for music. But more shocking to us was that as he tried to manipulate the strings of the Ukulele we see Brigham’s “face of concentration” on Li Jing’s face - complete with the way he held his eyes and mouth. Seriously, it was almost like some sort of movie where the spirit of one person embodies that of another. We are both deeply moved.

I can no longer hold it in. Turning to the parents I simply say “We believe there is a God in heaven who creates His children here on earth. I don’t know how or why, but your son is the exact image and character of our son in the US. It is almost as though God created two perfect twins and placed one in America and one here in China. I don’t think that our having met you was a coincidence.”  The parents are clearly touched and share the same sentiment. Then out of nowhere we are all interrupted by Li Jing who says matter-of-factly: “I am God’s special child and was sent here to bring happiness to my family. I am an angel of God.”

Gulp.

I spy Monique who’s eyes have welled up with tears.  I am stunned. I look over at Li Jing who is speaking as clear and matter-of-fact as you can imagine. Suspecting that Li Jing knows more, I lean over to Li Jing and in a whisper I say “Do you know some things that you can’t share with us?”, to which he responds “God told me some secrets that I am not allowed to tell any of you”.  Whew. We’re in China. Belief in God is outlawed here. Yet out of the mouths of babes….

I’m awe-struck and don’t know where to go from here. Technically, we shouldn’t discuss religion in this communist country – but then I reason that we’re not talking about any given “religion”, we’re just talking about God and who can formally deny the existence of God anyway? Especially coming from Li Jing?  In English I tell Li Jing’s sister that I sense there is something unusually special about Li Jing and she responds by telling me that the entire extended family has always known this. She too thinks that Li Jing is God’s angel sent to help others know how to act and be.

I reflect on an experience I had when I was newly married. We were living for a short while in Washington DC as I participated in a Governmental internship. While there we attended a congregation in which there was a young man with Down Syndrome. From the very first day we attended there he was our fast friend, sitting with us during the Sacrament and generally being our friend. I felt a little weird at first, but enjoyed it. I frequently wondered “why us?”  Later in life, after Brig was born I frequently had the secret thought that I – and many of us – have been admitted to an almost secret society that are somehow attuned to “special” souls. I’m not sure what might entitle one to such admission, but many times I’ve sorta thought that the young man from DC somehow recognized me as a team member – a safe person.  After today, that sense is rekindled. As far as I am concerned, today we were blessed to witness nothing short of a miracle. Apparently there really ARE angels sent from God to help others on earth. Would Li Jing lie?

Well, even aside from these amazing experiences, we also experienced other one-of-a-kind experiences that (by now) sort of pale in comparison. For example:

-          We experience one of the most close-knit family situations we’ve ever experienced. Sister is fully engaged with the family, clearly loved by mom and dad, and completely obedient to Mom’s rule of no dating until she is 22 (even though we sense she wishes they’d let up a little bit). Auntie, who was recently divorced has been brought into the family and is not only being helped by her big brother, but is returning that help in ways only she can provide. Mom is completely there for everyone and loves her role as “Mom”, dad is an honorable loving dad and husband, respecting the women in his life and CLEARLY loving Li Jing – in their relationship I see a mirror of my own relationship with my son Brig;

-          We are invited to the family’s “other” home, which doubles as their company office and kitchen/eating area. We are toured through the offices and proudly told of their efforts to take care of Li Jing in the future. We learn that the family actually owns a third home which they rent out to another company for additional income for Li Jing.

-          We enjoy an amazing traditional Chinese multicourse meal that would take an entire separate message to try to describe. Duck, mushrooms, rice noodles, cow tongue, pork rind, flounder, sweet rice cakes, lotus root. Some good, some fall into the category of “at least I’ve tried it”. During this meal Li Jing offers us a toast to our health.

-          Despite our protestations, when we leave we are given a 10-year old bottle of Chinese Moutai – China’s most expensive and prestigious type of alcohol. This type of gift is literally the gift of royalty. Although I don’t drink alcohol and clearly explain this several times, Li Yong for some reason wants to honor us in the best way he knows how, and this is the only way he knows. I protest at first, but then the spirit whispers to me that he “needs” to make this offering and that by rejecting it – even if for reasons that seems appropriate to me – the bigger sin is in the rejecting rather than the accepting. We ultimately accept it humbly, knowing that there is some deep sense of connection that drives his behavior and we are grateful for the connection.

Wondering why these unique experiences just keep piling up, but not complaining. I have learned more about spiritual things in the last 3 months than in the previous 3 decades. Despite some admittedly difficult life events over the last couple of years, it has become clear to both Monique and I that these were merely preparatory to some of our recent experiences. Without having endured what we “thought” to be tough things, the things we experience now would never have been so sweet. And we are grateful.

Chinese Brigham

As you know, the Chinese have a “one-child-policy”.  Although it should have been foreseeable, the unintended results have two edges. First, couples carefully plan for when (not if) they will have their baby. The family is ensconced as a unique and wonderful thing. I have never heard someone say “you know, I just don’t think I want to have a child”. Any woman who is pregnant acquires almost celebrity status. At work, I’ve seen this work out in interesting ways where pregnant women sometimes play their pregnancy to their advantage and may delicately indicate that “I think I might be a little more comfortable in the nice cube by the window with Comrade Chen’s comfortable chair”. Everyone agrees. It is a great time for women, as well as for men. Couples SEEK having children and are grateful for the day when it is their turn. Anyone who is lucky enough to get twins is doubly blessed.

Now imagine when, after all the planning, preparation and excitement your ONLY child is less-than-perfect. Perhaps he or she is deaf or blind, or has some deformity, or perhaps Down Syndrome (or in very rural and superstitious areas – a girl). What would you do? Unfortunately the vast majority (dare I say “almost all”?) Chinese will abandon their child at an orphanage and try again. With no child on record as theirs, they still have an opportunity for that coveted healthy baby. Regardless, they would CERTAINLY never take their child out in public. With the exception of babies from the orphanage that we have recently connected with, in the entire time we have been here neither of us has ever seen any “less-than-perfect” child – until Monday Night.  Let me introduce you to “Chinese Brigham”

Mo and I were at Wal-Mart getting her glasses repaired and picking up some items before the standard Saturday afternoon Wal-Mart mob scene. While shuffling through the meat section, separated by freezer chests, out of nowhere Monique fairly shrieks “HE HAS DOWN SYNDROME”. I look over to see her racing after a woman with a young man walking with that familiar Down Syndrome gait. Of course Mo doesn’t speak Chinese, so is trying to get this woman’s attention in English. Wasn’t working. I hustle over and arrive just as Mo taps the woman on the shoulder and points kindly at her son. You can imagine that along with the tendency to throw these children away also comes the tendency to be fairly cruel towards them, and it was obvious on the frightened but defensive look on this woman’s face that she has had her fair share of such demeaning treatment.

I don’t know how to say anything CLOSE to Down Syndrome or Trisomy 21 or Genetic mutation, etc., so I’m there trying to explain that we have a son like hers. She doesn’t understand. “My son’s face is different, like your son’s”. “My son also has a broken brain, like your son” (OK, it doesn’t translate very nicely – it doesn’t sound that bad in Chinese). Then I realize I have a picture of Brigham on my cell phone, so I quickly pull out my phone trying to navigate to the pictures as quickly as possible.  I finally open a picture of Brig and she finally understands. Joy replaces fear as her whole countenance changes. We are friends.

We learn that we are in the presence of 23 year old Li Jing (Li as in “Lee” and Jing as in “jingle bell”). Li Jing himself tells us in clear Chinese that he has a QQ account (like Facebook) and that he is fully capable of using the computer to navigate the web. Turns out we are not talking to “Mom”, but “Auntie”. Li Jing is her older brother’s son, and she takes him with her shopping on certain evenings. Her brother has treated him very well and works extra hard with him so he will be as normal as possible. She tells us that he can both read and write Chinese (something LOTS of adults never accomplish), and that he has his own cell phone. Li Jing and I exchange cell phone numbers.

I look over and find Monique is sobbing. She misses Brigham and loves Li Jing instantly. Chinese Brigham sees this and naturally opens his arms to give her a hug. Waterworks. He is as naturally sweet as any child with Down Syndrome you have ever met. For the record, I did NOT hear Chinese Brigham say that Monique is “ravishing” as American Brigham would have. Well, by now the meat section of Wal-Mart is an interesting scene. Most folks have never seen a kid with Down Syndrome, and some are still caught off-guard seeing foreigners – imagine seeing foreigners hugging the reviled “retard”. Lots of stares going on there.  By the way, Li Jing doesn’t even notice we are foreigners. Could have predicted that.

I ask Auntie if we can take a picture with Li Jing, and she is hesitant. We hear of horrible despicable things that happen to children like this, where bad people steal them to make them beg on their behalf. I understand her fears and explain that we want to send Li Jing’s picture to our family, especially to Brig. In doing so I pull the picture out again and she notices that the picture I’ve shown of Brigham is with the President of the US. She is astounded, asking repeatedly if that’s really our son with the President. I assure her it is, and that one day maybe Chinese Brigham will meet Chinese President. She is moved.

Monique wants to capture the moment – I’m glad she thought of it, I would have forgotten – so she snaps a photo. Unfortunately, the most touching scenes of Mo and Chinese Brig were not captured by photograph. I’m a loser! High fives (sort of) and a couple more hugs and we go our separate ways. Not sure if they were as moved as we were, but desirous that maybe we brought a little ray of hope into Auntie’s world. Chinese Brigham doesn’t need the ray of hope. He IS the ray of hope.

Love to all.

Jay and Mo

Do We - Can We?

Well, here I sit at 5:00 am on Thursday morning. I’ve caught some terrible form of wheezing, congested “something” that just won’t go away. It’s one of those “don’t-laugh-or-you’ll-hack-up-a-lung” sort of coughs. Give room for just one cough and you’re in for a 10-minute coughing spasm. I coughed so hard yesterday I literally almost threw up. I’ve been this way for over a week and was starting to seriously worry about pneumonia. I’ve been lying in bed for about an hour trying desperately not to cough. Finally, to spare Monique, I decided to at least retire to the office at the other end of the (yes, still cold) house. Figured while here, I’d capture some thoughts that have traced my mind recently.

By the way, for those who may be wondering if after a week of this I’ve finally gone to a doctor yet, the answer is “I finally did yesterday”. Why the delay? As previously reported, “going to the doctor” is a significant event that means just what you’d expect from nationalized health care. The “hospital” seemed more like a clinic. It was neither clean, nor warm, nor private, nor comforting. Here’s how it went down…

You have to wait in line for everything, but lines here can actually mean shoving matches to see who yells the loudest or butts in the best. To overcome that they’ve instituted a “take a number” policy exactly like what you’ve seen at the DMV. First, at the podium as you come in you have your temp taken and tell them your symptoms – in front of everyone – glad I didn’t have explosive diarrhea. From this you will get a colored slip letting the cashier know what treatment you will be getting. Then proceed to the cashier to pay for the visit. Be sure to get your registration form stamped to prove you have paid. Go to the appropriate waiting room based on temp or problem and take a number. Once your number shows up on the board get cursory look-see by doctor. This takes place in a 3’ x 5’ office cubicle with nothing more than a desk and a stool. In this case there were 5 other cubicles all clumped together and the next person waiting was a foot and a half away watching the strange foreigner over the wall – at least she was outside the cube – this was, after all, MY time with the Doc!  Once again, glad I didn’t have to tell them some horribly embarrassing personal symptom I was experiencing!  Once Doc decides what you need (tests, etc.) you go back to the cashier to pay for tests before tests are administered. No waiting in line here, just wave your paperwork more aggressively than the next person and you get waited on. Once stamped, go back to the test area and wait in line there. Hang around the open test area to wait for tests to be complete. Keep alert cause they don’t call your name, you have to keep asking. Once retrieved you personally deliver results back to the first doctor. There, no waiting in line again – just cut in line and interrupt whoever the doctor is visiting with (now I see the value of the cubicle system). In my case, I needed antibiotics. Fortunately I was able to request pills – which is not the norm. Normally antibiotics are administered intravenously with a slow drip over 2+ hours and have to be administered over a course of 3 days!!!  I also received prescription for Tylenol and a Chinese medicinal tea which all required another visit to the cashier then on to the pharmacy line. All instructions were in Chinese so I had to cut back in line to ask for directions on taking the meds. Whew! All of this with a bunch of other (worse?) sick people as I waited my “turns”. Did I mention it was not clean in any way? Well, despite its shortcomings, I can now understand how this system works to limit health care costs by, among other things, ensuring only people who really NEED to see a doctor go see a doctor.  Would you go through that for something minor?

OK, on to the “real” topic.

So I’ve been wondering what kind of a difference each of us makes in our daily routines. I’ve come to the conclusion that the degree and type of difference we make is totally up to us. It all started one day in our cafeteria when the server saw me coming through and provided a plate with a 2^nd portion of the yummy boneless chicken thigh that was the main course. Gotta keep the American fat and happy! I looked up as I received the plate from her to see that EVERY ONE of the 30+ cafeteria workers was watching from behind their sanitary face masks. I stopped, and in Chinese thanked her effusively then asked how her family was. Well, the entire kitchen area erupted in laughter and chit-chat. The whole routine of food-swapping is pretty anonymous. They were shocked that ANYONE would talk to them, much less the foreigner. Since then no matter what line I get in – double helpings for Jay.  Not a bad investment – a kind reply for a kind action.  I feel like I have to be on alert at all times, but I don’t really mind.  Some other instances where I feel I can make a difference by just being alert and (trying to be) kind:

Last week it was raining so hard after work that I hired a three-wheeled covered pedicab to take me to the subway where I would have a better chance of finding a cab home. These pedicabs are everywhere – hundreds … no thousands of them swarming the district where my office is – like mosquitoes or jet fighters zooming through traffic ignoring every traffic law there is. I always make sure to look the drivers in the face when I get in, and again when I get out to pay. Yesterday on the way back from lunch I also grabbed a pedicab from the subway station back to my office. How unlikely was it that I would get the same driver as last week? I recognized him and remarked about it. He was shocked that I would have remembered (you know, they DON’T all look the same – grin). We had a nice chat as he weaved through traffic. I don’t think we’ll be having his family over for dinner, but I feel like we made a connection.

Our office hires a gaggle of middle-aged cleaning women to empty trash, mop bathroom floors, sweep leaves off the pathways, etc. They also pretty much go about their business in anonymity. Quietly flittering in to empty the trash, etc.  I’ve tried to make it a habit to stop them and ask about their family or holiday or the weather or whatever. They always seem surprised but unembarrassed – and certainly proud – to talk about their families. Nothing earth-shattering, but another small connection.

When I was staying at my teeny tiny hotel when I first got here, because I didn’t have a credit card that worked over here, I had to pay day by day – every day. One cute young woman at the front desk was named Li Dan Dan. One day she was courageous enough to try speaking English with me. All her colleagues giggled that she would make such an attempt, but from that time forward I would pause long enough to let her try to speak English – it was very poor. I’d work with her from time to time on how to pronounce “V” and “R” – two difficult sounds for the Chinese mouth. Each time as I entered the lobby late in the day I’d holler across the way “HELLO Li Dan Dan!!” – of course giggles and laughter. In the process I learned about her family, some of her aspirations, etc. I’d bet that if I bumped into Li Dan Dan somewhere else in the city today – say on the subway or whatever – we’d recognize each other and chat.

The list of people we can reach out to is almost endless.  My cab drivers, the guards at our front gate, the lady at the news stand where I buy my cell minute recharge card, the girl at the store beside our office where I sometimes go buy a drink that is NOT tea (that’s all our vending machines at work have), the security bag screener or the safety-flag-waver at my local subway line, people who stare at you ON the subway, the myriad young men and young women who work on the same floor as me, the guy who floats past our house picking up trash out of the river, etc., etc.  The investment is minimal. It usually requires just a smile, sometimes a wave or a “hello” or “ni hao”, sometimes its allowing the cab driver to keep the extra 1 or 2 kuai change – with the charge that he give it to his 13 year old daughter. Regardless, I am confident that in a weird small way I am doing my part to bring about international harmony.

My dad once taught me a message I will never forget. I don’t think he knew he was teaching a lesson. He was an executive at a company that had established a separate reserved parking area for the execs that was up close to the building. He may have even had a parking space with his name on it. Once when I left his office with him we had to walk way out to the end of the “common” parking lot to find his car. When I asked why he didn’t park up front, he simply said that there are a lot of diligent people who have to arrive WAAAY before he does, and that it only seemed right that people should be able to park first-come-first-served. He had arrived later than usual, thus the long walk. That subtle act – and its attendant message that we’re all pretty much equal – has always stayed with me.  (Closed circuit note to my kids – after I die and you tell stories of stupid goofy things that I did, please at least remember that I tried to be a friendly guy)

I guess there is really nothing new or insightful about this. Perhaps that I am a bit more in the spotlight now, it has come to have more meaning for me. It would be easy to simply put my head down in this environment of vast humanity and just go about my business.  It seems like that’s what everyone else does. With the ginormous number of times you see, talk to, bump into, or otherwise stand near someone, human interaction is so frequent that it is very “cheap” here – why invest even a moment with someone you will likely never see again?  On the other hand, a look, a gesture, a nod, a word has started to make this interaction overload manageable – at least in my little Shanghai daily routine.

So can we make a difference?  Yes.  Just apply the same principle as when you cross the railroad tracks: “Stop, Look, and Listen”

(BTW, be sure not to confuse this with the principle used during a fire. If you “Stop, Drop, and Roll” people will look at you weird).

Love to all…

Jay

Mr. Xi and I in Xiamen

I love the Chinese People!!!

Too Much of a Good Thing?

OK – I know by now you think I am overly interested in Chinese fireworks… That may be so, but I think I am getting cured. 

At midnight on New Year’s Eve EVERYONE, it seems, lights off fireworks to “break open the doors of the new year”. The good news was that these fireworks all took place over a relatively short span of time and were complete by about 2:00 am. (See the link below to get an aerial view of New Year’s Eve in Beijing. The story shows what it looked like 15 minutes before midnight, then again right at midnight. The segment showing the fire truck references that 82 people were severely hurt by fireworks – I think.  It takes a second to load and has an ad about shoes for a second – but be patient.)

Unfortunately, we’ve learned that on the 5th day of the new year and all through that night MORE fireworks are set off to get Guan Yu's attention, to ensure his favor and good fortune for the new year. This isn’t everyone at the same time like New Year’s Eve, and these aren’t US type fireworks . . . these seem like BOMBS going off sporadically in the neighborhood ALL NIGHT. Basically we got no sleep last night.  So whereas I was impressed and excited about the cool fireworks a couple of days ago – now? Not so much.

http://news.cntv.cn/20110203/102661.shtml

OK – enough about fireworks (at least until next year – grin)

My first official post from China

First of all, a quick shout out to Jennie and Lexie Dopp for so kindly helping me set up my blog. They have given me the motivation to get these experiences written down, and then hopefully published in a book at the end of each year. I have to say I am a bit timid about writing as I am married to an amazing writer and I fear that my posts will pale in comparison to his. Oh well, I will continue anyway.

I have been in china for a month now and during that time Jay has written some amazing emails and I will include those in my posts so all who read can get caught up on the travels of the Larkins. With so many things to see and experience, there are so many subjects to write about. Stay tuned for our experiences during our vacation to Xiamen during the Spring Festival.

Seeing the "Real" China

It would seem that our unusual experiences just never stop. Each time I think we’ve hit the top, something more interesting and unusual follows on. It happened again yesterday and today – Chinese New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day.  This time – by accident – Monique and I were able to see the “real” China in ways that I suspect most foreigners never do. As always, there is some background needed to set the stage….

Because of some predictable yet still frustrating administrivia on the part of the Chinese government, Monique’s passport was being held for processing for the last several weeks. Without a passport you can neither fly (passport acts like our driver’s license) nor stay in a hotel (they register your whereabouts as you travel through the country).  Not knowing if we would get it back in time for the Chinese New Year, we had to wait until we had the passport in hand before we bought airfare or arranged hotels for the week off work. Accordingly, when we finally did make plans, our options were limited. Flights were fully booked and very expensive, and hotel rooms were also very expensive and mostly sold out. 

On advice from a couple of friends, we wanted to travel to the city of Xiamen (pronounced “Shaw-mun”). It is south of Shanghai, on the coast directly across the straights from Taiwan. It is the rough equivalent – both distance and weather – of flying from Salt Lake City to San Diego. (For those who know Barry Mower, the plant for his Lifetime Products is located in Xiamen.) Unfortunately, because of timing, the only room we could afford anywhere near Xiamen was at a deluxe high end resort on a remote rural island.  Apparently, during New Year everyone goes home, not to resorts, so the normally very expensive Golden Bay Resort is virtually empty – thus Monique was able to get a GREAT deal – shout out to Mo, once again coming through with awesome travel plans. Unfortunately, once we got here, we learned why prices are so low. We discovered we are SO far away from anything that we can’t even get a cab into the city. DOH!!!  As has happened to us frequently since we got here, what we thought was a cloud ended up being an unexpected silver lining…

The island we are on has four things happening – fishing, farming, an ex-military-base-turned-tourist-attraction, and the hotel we are in. As you can imagine, it would seem like there is not much to do. Well, we found some COOL things to do. Some of the most meaningful involved simply walking in and around and through the small villages on the island. I suspect we may be the only Caucasians to have wandered about, and it showed in the reactions from kids, adults and elderly alike. Gratefully, I am able to speak enough Chinese to get around – and that seems to impress the locals.

We strolled through some pretty humble homes and met some very humble people. It is seldom that one will meet such friendly, welcoming people. Despite the fact that it was the equivalent of their Christmas Eve, at every home, we were invited in to share their New Year meal (of course we declined). We chatted with some friendly older inhabitants of this rural community, including Mr. Xu (pronounced “shoe”) who is 78 years old with 10 children – 7 daughters and 3 sons. As with tradition, the sons all stayed in the ancestral home, farming nearby, and all the daughters moved in with their husband’s families – but last night all returning for the all-important New Year’s Eve celebration.  

We also met and visited with Mr. Xi (pronounced “she”) – 82 years young and as friendly as you can possibly imagine. Yet another amazing experience as Mr. Xi kept asking about Monique, and as I tried my unworthy best to act as translator. Spry and kindly Mr. Xi reached out with his weathered leathery hands to hold Monique’s hand expressing gratitude at becoming her friend.  Somehow, despite inability to speak the same language, the language of love broke through and Mo and Mr. Xi connected.  These are experiences that cannot be purchased or planned. For Mo, an unforgettable moment in a smelly rural village – an experience which shall never be forgotten. See pics of him with Monique via the “Making Friends” link below.

We also spoke with store owner Mr. Yan. While we were there, Mr. Yan’s 17 year old son rode up on his three-wheeled ridable wheelbarrow loaded with junk of all sorts. Upon arrival, he pulled the junk away to reveal a stash of AMAZING fireworks. Brought them from their storage area and was hiding them because, apparently, they are illegal. Mrs. Yan quickly unloaded the fireworks and camouflaged them in front of their store, waiting for later use that evening. See pics of us with the Yan family.  Friendly and kind. I LOVE all these people. I can’t seem to find the right adjectives to describe them.

Today, New Year’s DAY – the hits just kept coming. We visited the aforementioned ex-Military army base. It is located across a narrow channel from Jinmen island which is still held by Taiwan. During my mission 35 years ago, Taiwan and China were at great odds with the feeling of impending warfare always in the air.  As missionaries we always heard about this fort, accompanied by amazing stories of daring Taiwan Navy Seals snorkeling across the strait then sneaking into China to spy around. THIS is where they landed!!!  – maybe on the exact shore outside my hotel room, just down the coast from the fort. While at this now-tourist attraction we were well received by all, with many people asking to have their picture taken with us. Some of these photos can also be viewed by clicking the attached “Fort Facing Jinmen” link.

Later, we rode rented hotel bikes into the “main town” – very small by China standards – and got to experience some additional cool things. Without going into detail (I could spend 15 minutes on each of these experiences) we got to:

-          Observe and chronicle the Buddhist pattern of ancestral worship, including lighting incense, kneeling and praying on behalf of ancestors, offering burnt offerings of faux paper money, foods, etc., then lighting firecrackers to scare away any demons – see “Trip to Xiamen” link

-          Visit with carloads of people who stopped in the middle of the road to speak English with us, creating traffic problems which the drivers didn’t seem to worry about;

-          Meet and take pictures with an ANCIENT Chinese woman working barefooted on her plot of land, hauling heavy 5 gallon container of water from the canal – not sure I could haul that heavy water;

-          Discover a traditional, albeit deteriorated, Chinese family compound, taking the opportunity to explain to Monique how new generations of male children would expand the compound when they got married and “moved in” with dad;

-          Meet Emily, a 26 year old single English teacher whose English was VERY impressive. She introduced us to the 4 generations of her family, including her 90 year old great grandmother. Yes, you can see pics of great grandma, but forgot to capture pics of cute Emily;

-          Visit a different Buddhist temple that was under construction out in the middle of a field, only to discover we’d interrupted a young man and his girlfriend who had decided this was a great private place to make out – ummmm, excuse me, I didn’t expect to see you all the way out here (we both could have said the same thing)

-          After many stops to ask for help, eventually find a friendly mechanic to fix the pedal on my bike. In the process we interrupted a game of Ma jong, interrupted someone’s meal, chatted with people waiting for a bus, but never did figure out the word for “wrench”. Monique finally saved us by scouting out a motorcycle repair shop – odd that it was open today, but grateful;

-          Dinner of traditional Chinese “Hot Pot”, dipping various foods into boiling broth to cook it. Our ingredients included shrimp, clams, crab, squid, abalone, lamb, pork, onion, mystery meat balls, rice noodles, lettuce, and some other mystery something. Some tasty, some not so much. Abalone had no particular taste, not “fishy”. Liked the mystery meat balls.

Okay, enough is enough. There were TONS of other experiences, but there you have it – enough cool experiences to have taken place over the course of a year, but all within 24 hours. We still have 3 days here!!! I can’t keep this pace up <pant, pant>

Meeting New Friends in Xiamen: http://s1180.photobucket.com/albums/x406/jtlarkin/Meeting%20friends%20in%20Xiamen/

Trip to Xiamen: http://s1180.photobucket.com/albums/x406/jtlarkin/Xiamen%20Trip/

Fort Facing Jinmen: http://s1180.photobucket.com/albums/x406/jtlarkin/Jinmen%20Fort/

Also loaded some more still shots of fireworks in Shanghai, taken by my friend Bryan Ma: http://s1180.photobucket.com/albums/x406/jtlarkin/Chinese%20New%20Year%20Fireworks/?albumview=slideshow

Sorry for the overload. Wish you were here!!!!  Happy New Year to all,

Cheers, love, hugs, sincerely, etc. (pick one)

Jay

Amazing Chinese New Year FireWorks...

HI All –

No way to adequately capture what we experienced tonight – Chinese New Year Eve – but will try. Midnight on New Year Eve represents the time when fireworks are used to “open the door” to the new year.  We didn’t realize what lay ahead when the hotel personnel encouraged us to stay up past midnight. In their words, there would be a sea of fireworks.  Well, there was.

Check the link below to view some short videos captured on my phone. Poor quality, but amazing nonetheless.  EVERYWHERE, in every direction there were fireworks. They lasted about 30 minutes with this level of fireworks, and still 2 hours later there are still the sounds of fireworks both near and far. Truly a sea of fireworks. What you will see was just in the neighborhood of our very remote hotel near Xiamen, directly adjacent to Taiwan (Shanghai is a 90 minute flight north of here). We are just on a very small farming island – imagine what it must have looked like in crowded cities!!!!  You may hear me mention that we can see additional fireworks across the bay. Those fireworks are not visible in the video, but what we could see caused the horizon to undulate with fireworks. Every twinkling light in the video is aerial fireworks.

Some of the video contained in the link was taken directly behind our hotel. Some of the guests brought their own fireworks and they were kind enough to specifically invite the foreigners (me and Mo) out to watch the fireworks. We were standing about 100 feet from where these fireworks were fired off.

Amazing stuff, hope it comes out ok.  Enjoy.

Jay

(You may want to turn your speakers down for some of these)

Photobucket Album of Fireworks Video:   http://s1180.photobucket.com/albums/x406/jtlarkin/Chinese%20New%20Year%20Fireworks/

Chinese Daniel

OK –

Now for a new feature from Shanghai.  This will be short, but fun.  Monique and I continue to notice that there are a bunch of Chinese alter-egos of people we know and love in the US. Today we highlight “Chinese Daniel”.  Through the months, we will try to introduce you to other Chinese alter-egos.

We live in a little neighborhood where there are stand-alone homes with yards. Although far from common (most people live in apartments and condo’s) they are certainly not unheard of. The homes are called “villas” (Much more impressive sounding than they really are) and the walled off neighborhoods are alternately called “compounds” or “districts”. Our neighborhood is composed primarily of Chinese families – we are only one of a very few foreign families - and is walled off and has serious looking security guards in uniform and a border-guard-type lift gate at the entry, etc.  We are located a fair distance from the retail areas where we can shop, etc.  Although we did this on purpose, we didn’t fully comprehend the inconveniences that would result if we did not have our own form of transportation. Calling a taxi out to our home to pick us up adds about 20 minutes of waiting time on the front end of any trip, with at least a US $4.00 charge one-way. One of the services offered to set our compound apart is a twice a day shuttle bus that runs out to a couple of the local shopping locations and to the subway lines. It costs 2 kuai (or about 30 cents). As you can imagine, this provides a nice alternative to the more costly and less convenient China-sized taxis.  The shuttle will pick you up at an agreed spot in the market parking lot at an agreed time, whereas the Taxis (if you can find them) have to be hailed from the busy street corners after you have lugged all your stuff from the now-distant store.  The home owners and the Ayi’s (house mama’s) all love the shuttle.

“Chinese Daniel” is the name Monique has given to the Shuttle Bus driver. She calls him Chinese Daniel because in many ways he reminds her of our son Daniel. In the attached photo, you “may” be able to see a slight resemblance. The real similarity is in his quick and happy smile, his friendly and helpful demeanor, his angular and lean body build, and even in his walking and running style. (As a private reference to immediate family members who went on a cruise with us some years back, no – we have not seen Chinese Daniel in his speedo and sneakers stretching on the promenade deck, but we suspect the similarities may actually continue even in THAT realm – YIKES!!!.)  Chinese Daniel is sooo quick to jump out of the bus and grab boxes and bags to help you load them, and he is friendly and polite. Even though he knows Monique does not speak Chinese, he speaks to her in normal friendly tones, as though she DOES understand – just as US Daniel would. Monique appreciates this because most of the days all she hears are Chinese who only speak louder and faster when they are trying to get their point across. (How many of you have said in increasingly loud tones “DO . . . YOU . . . UNDERSTAND . . . ENGLISH???”)  It’s OK, we all do it.  Grin.

Anyway, Monique loves Chinese Daniel, and we love US Daniel. Maybe someday they will meet.  Then again, maybe we should keep them away from one another . . . . .  The universe might explode.

Love to all.

Jay

PS – In the photo, Chinese Daniel is characteristically hamming it up by flashing the universal “make the peace sign while your photo is being taken” pose. We had interrupted his “between bus runs” energetic game of ping pong in the clubhouse to grab this photo, but he was happy to do it. If you can’t tell, he was proud that we’d want to take his photo to share with family and friends.  Here’s to you, Chinese Daniel!!!

Taxi Driver Perspective

Good morning.

It is about 5:00 am. I am in a Hotel in Beijing, woken up by the persistent cold. Overnight it reached down to about -14 degrees Celsius. Yes that sounds very cold. It is about the same as 6 degrees Fahrenheit. (if you want a quick conversion double the Celsius, then add 30: -14x2 = -28+30 = 2.  It’s a rough estimate that works in the “normal” temperature range, but is less accurate when it gets really hot or cold. But I digress… ) Despite my long johns and socks (I never wear socks to bed), and triple layering my comforter sleeping under a narrow strip of covering, throughout the night I was repeatedly awakened by the cold. Somewhere in the middle of the night I got up to look for the little hand-held remote that controls the reverse air-conditioning “heat pump” which serves as a heater located near the ceiling on the wall. Searched everywhere, couldn’t find it, went back to bed.  Eventually my pride got to me so I called the front desk. “Oh you want the heater controller? Sure, we’ll send one to your room”. No sense in leaving those little devices IN the room where someone might actually want to use them.  At least I wasn’t charged for it (yet?). Ok, I’m grumbling – promised myself I wouldn’t do that. I’m just a little tired…

Are you aware that President Hu was recently in the US? (yes I could go on and on with a version of the Abbott and Costello “Who’s on first” routine… “Q: Who’s the President of China?  A: Hu. Q: Yes that’s what I’m asking” but I won’t ) For most aware folks here this is a GIANT deal, especially in Shanghai – which is the “New York” of China – everyone there is hoping to open better business opportunities, and in Beijing – which is the “Washington DC” of China – where everyone is hoping to improve political relations which apparently have soured a little in the last couple of years.  I’ve started to ask about the differences in our two countries during my twice-daily taxi commute. It’s interesting how the guy-on-the-street looks at the US.  Here’s a conglomerate sample: (By the way, I’m aware of possible prying eyes reading this email – it is not intended as an indictment of either China OR the US, just a perspective offered by various Chinese taxi drivers over the last week or so. I hope I am not deported.)

Taxi (T): America is the greatest country on the face of the planet. You are so rich, and you proactively reach out to poorer, developing countries

Jay (J): Yeah but there are still some places we can improve. China has done some great things over the last 20 years. Look at your personal improvement in standard of living.

T: Uh, maybe. Every country can improve, but you’ve already resolved some big issues.

J: Yeah? Like what?

T: You used to have a problem with slaves, but now your President is a black man. We still fight crime where children and women are sold into slavery in the countryside. No one likes it, and the government is trying to fix it, but there are so many people and not enough resources to successfully contain it.

J: Hmmmm.  OK, what else?

T: You used to have a problem with the Native Americans, but now they are accepted and receive benefits from your government. We still deal with the Uighurs in far western China, with Tibet, with Inner Mongolia, etc.  We’re trying to integrate those populations into our country, but it will take some time.

J: OK, I’m getting to see your point. But there is an ugly side of America that maybe you don’t see. There are many poor people who live on the streets and don’t get adequate medical care.

T: We have similar problems, sort of. They don’t live on the street, but for many, the streets may be a better alternative. They have no heat, no running water, no transportation, and they eat unhealthy foods just to get by.

J: Well, I understand, but that is something your government will probably get around to.

T: Maybe, but we don’t really know or have a say, at least you can vote if your President and Congress are not doing their jobs.

J: OK, I’ll give you that.  By the way, what do you think of President Obama?

T: We thought he was going to make big changes, but it looks more and more like he has no power. He seems inexperienced and Chinese politicians are hesitant to get behind him because he may not be around long enough. How do American’s feel?

J: That’s an interesting perspective. As for us, we’re split. Some are grateful for some important changes that are coming down, others feel sort of like you do. Do you think he and President Hu will be able to make any improvements during this trip?

T: Fact is, it doesn’t matter. I just drive a cab. I’m not in Afghanistan or Tibet or even in the smaller towns. I’m just here trying to make enough to feed my family and pay for my cab. Politicians do less than we give them credit for. They seldom make improvements that are meaningful. Usually they just create rules and laws that get in the way.

J: Hmmmm. I don’t really see it that way. How would you ever overcome child-trafficking. Are you personally going to go fix it?

T: No, I just drive a cab.

J: That’s my point.

T: Regardless, America is amazing.

J: I think China is pretty cool.

T: That’ll be 32 RMB, do you want a receipt?

J: Yeah. See ya.

So all the political mumbo-jumbo aside, I’m finding that I can be pretty impatient under certain circumstances (did you read my first paragraph?).  I am a master is saying stuff like “why don’t they just FIX this?” (like the horribly disgusting public toilets), or “when is the government going to step in and manage this?” (like the increasingly snarled traffic or pollution.)  Then I stop for a second and look back at how things were a mere 20 years ago. By our standards, most Chinese are still in the 1920’s, but by their standards, life is improving fast. There is an awareness of issues that need to be changed, and from my perspective (filtered by state-owned media of course) it appears that there are some meaningful changes being worked on. But imagine the effort necessary to turn this Aircraft Carrier of a country in ANY direction. Change cannot happen overnight. And it seems a little foolish for us (me?) to raise our fist and say “you better change, or else”. A better approach would seem to be “we notice some things that could improve, would you like some help?”  Although a fiercely proud country, oddly it seems that on the street level EVERYTHING mimics the US.

OK – well, it is now officially time to wake up and hop in the shower. My room is finally warm since I got my heater controller, and I’ve probably written enough in an open email to start noticing that I’m being followed. Not kidding. Anyway – interesting additional perspectives from the taxi driver sector in one small corner of Shanghai.

Cheers.